Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
