paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
