called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
