It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize
