i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
