New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
