So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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