omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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