If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
