i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
