There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
