He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
