i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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