dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Randomize
