did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
