Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
