You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Randomize
