I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
