that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
