Sponge bath it is.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
