Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
