I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
MIDGETS
????
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
