Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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