he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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