drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
