god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
i think my cat just said my name.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
