is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
