i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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