People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he fucked my hip out of place.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
