I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
