She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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