he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
