There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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