$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
