Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
