from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
