Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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