I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
