Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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