Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
