It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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