Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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