If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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