Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
