Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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