How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
