Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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