Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
sick fucks of a feather flock together
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
