so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm like, not good at living.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
