Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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