Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
i now understand why vodka
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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