I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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