Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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