how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
