She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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